I Dream of Ice Cream
by Combatflaps
Summary: His fellow bad guys are up to something, but Roman Torchwick doesn't seem to care. His pink, brown, and white associate has most of his attention these days.
1. Chapter 1

Yellow dust crystals increased in price from 1,349 to 1,929 Lien per pound. Red dust crystals from 1,199 to 1,549 Lien per pound. White dust prices are stable. From Dust to Dawn shops on 4th st. and 19th st. have shut down. Multiple other dust shops have had to cut employment significantly. Soo-yung Dust on 43rd and Warrior's Necessities on 31st have had to reduce security personnel. Illegal ammunition has unsurprisingly increased in cost. After the failed robbery of the Schnee Dust shipment last month the White Fang cut our daily operating budget to 50,000 Lien, which only allows for up to 5 man armed teams for subsequent dust shop robberies. Perhaps 12 man teams for robberies of dust in transit. Does that still leave us at 4,000 Lien overbudget? Or 2,000? Hmm, maybe if we don't actually load some of the guns. Or go back to using swords for armed robberies. _That_ worked well last time.

_Ugh_, blegh, gag. How annoying. Of course there isn't a soul among these animals that can handle this type of work. "Forget it, I'll come back to this later."

I lean back in my chair so that the two front chair legs come off the ground, and close my eyes for a moment. Sweet silence please help my growing headache. Speaking of sweet silence, I open my eyes to a pair of pink and brown irises no more that three inches in front of me.

"Gah!" I flail and my chair leans back the rest of the way.

"Uff, Dammit Neo. The buttons on these lapels are brand new."

For a girl with such a distinct look she has no respect for other people's clothing. Neo leans down to get her face right into mine. Her head cocks cutely to one side, and she smirks. I place my index finger in the center of her forehead and push her away.

"Whatever, let's just get out of this room. I'm growing old in here."

She prances around my desk to stand by the door, while I don my trademark bowler and grab Melodic Cudgel before leading the way out.

"I'm all for running a crime outfit, but the people I'm forced to work with. Let me tell you Neo, there can't be a high school degree among them. Not that I have one, but we're talking people who could fail a personality test. So all of that necessary paperwork tends to migrate to _my _desk. Sometimes it's just hours and hours of, ugh, _Math_," I explain. "How's your day been Neo?"

"..."

"You don't say."

She had to step on my foot for that one.

"Ow! Alright, I gotcha. Let's go see how the repairs on some of the paladins are coming along. Two pinks if you think they'll be all repaired and ready for shipment to the southeast. Two browns if you think this place is the next step up from an animal shelter and the only difference is that my animals are house trained."

After getting to know her a bit, I discovered that Neo has a very intriguing talent. She can change her eyes' colors between pink and brown at will. I don't know how or why, but admittedly it's kind of cool. Neo glances up at me with her preferred arrangement of left eye pink, right eye brown.

"I hope you're right," I say.

We enter the main storage room of our current warehouse base. With the move to the southeast now in progress there's finally enough room to walk around without the chance of accidentally tripping over a canister of materialized lightning or whatnot. Wooden Crates are stacked against the walls, with the cargo of dust prioritized closest to the large steel double doors at the front of the room that make up the warehouse's entrance. Weapons and living necessities towards the back. And one giant mess of metal right in the middle.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on here? These didn't have to be completely disassembled to be fixed. Why did you let them do that Perry?"

"But sir-" A man who has somehow found a way to look even less intimidating when wearing a grimm mask whines.

"But nothing. You are in charge. This thing that looks like a Battleship took a shit in my warehouse is _your_ responsibility."

"Actually-" Perry tries to weasel out.

"Perry please. It's been a long day, and I just want this mess gone. Am I going to have to write that down so you remember it?"

"Roman," says a sultry voice to the left. "I see your skills of perception are as keen as ever. Maybe you should brush that hair out of your eye."

As I turn to the foreboding tone I see that Neo has hold of my sleeve and has been motioning with her head for god knows how long. Oops.

"Cinder, an honor to have you down here as always. Is this metal work of art your doing? Lovely piece really, I'm sure you already have the curator of the Vale Museum of Fine Art breathing down your neck."

"Oh, Roman. You flatter me, but please. Shut up," Cinder purrs out in her lovely melodic tones. Seriously, how do you make such a beautiful, seductive voice sound so decidedly not sexy.

"I had these paladins deconstructed for another purpose. They are to be shipped out in parts with the next assortment of cargo," Cinder belatedly informs me.

"The next shipment goes out on Tuesday," I offer her.

"Good. Now, this cargo is a bit special. I want you to personally see it safe to Mountain Glenn," Cinder says.

"Fine, fine, sure, fine, ok. Whatever you say boss."

She narrows her eyes a bit, and her nose gets just a hint of a wrinkle in it. Ah, it's the little things that make life worthwhile.

"I have important matters to attend to back at Beacon, so I'm entrusting this to you," Cinder adds as she turns to leave.

"Ok, well this has been an informative talk. Be sure to write if you get the chance. You can tell me all about your time in school. Don't let those meanies bully you about your gray hairs. I think they're cute."

The door to the warehouse shuts behind her as she leaves. My closing statement earns a little snicker from Neo, and I can't keep a smile off my own face. It's another not so secret talent of Neo's to be able to do anything a normal person does, completely silently. I'm not sure if I'll ever get an explanation for that one.

"Well Perry, sorry about earlier. I said some things I didn't mean. You said some things... So let's forget the whole matter. You heard what needs to be done. So get to it."

"Of course sir," the honorable Perry replies.

Neo and I take that moment to make our departure.

* * *

><p>Living options are certainly limited when you have an outstanding warrant for up to a lifetime imprisonment. But like hell am I going to stay at a White Fang hideout when I'm trying to sleep. Neo arranged for some disguises to be made up, and acquired us a low-end but serviceable apartment. Now, I'm not a big fan of the clothes or the apartment, but they aren't too bad. A marked improvement over warehouse 15's accomidations.<p>

We head to a couple rooms in the back to change. I have to trade my bowler out for a beanie, and ditch my beautiful hand stitched red lined coat in favor of a gray t-shirt and tan duster. The only concession is that I get to keep my cigars. At least Neo looks disappointed with her outfit as well. She doesn't strike me as much of a hat person, but that vibrant, unique hair would turn her in without a second thought. So, she's wearing a cream colored beanie, with a standard brown raincoat, and boots accompanying it. It's not a striking outfit. I think I prefer our matching white coats. Definitely a better vibe.

"..."

Neo cocks her eyebrow. Oh. How long have I been staring at her.

"Well, no sense in hanging around here any longer. hehe. Home sweet home awaits."

The walk to our apartment would probably perturb most people. It's not exactly the area of town where one finds cafés and dust shops. There are mostly cramped for space apartment buildings, maybe some ground level grocery stores, and a short walk to the warehouse and industrial districts. The population consists of mostly immigrant faunus workers, dock hands, and other worse off types. Not a lot of cops though. If I had to guess, I'd say that probably one crime in ten gets reported.

I don't think any amount of danger in the world could wipe the ever-present smirk off of Neo's face. Hmm, she'd actually probably get more excited if there was actually a chance that her life was threatened. Sometime I'd just like to pry open her skull, peek my head in, and take a look at the world from behind those eyes. Clearly she sees something I don't.

"..."

Well, right now she sees me. How long have I been thinking about her again?

"You have some beautiful eyes, you know that? I bet there're some good stories about tricks you've played on people with those baby pink and browns?"

"..."

"And then he did what?! Hahaha, you kill me sometimes."

Neo looks me in the eye and smirks a little wider at that one. That's not disturbing. She seems to be looking behind me now though. At an ice cream shop. How an ice cream shop covers the cost of rent and Junior's protection with the lack of business in this part of town is beyond me, but Henry's Doublescoop is pretty much a landmark on 54th. I wouldn't be surprised if old Henry's slipping some mind-altering dust in the tutti-frutti. Ice cream is Neo's one vice, well as far as material things go. I don't know what the deal is for her, but we find ourselves here at least once a week. Considering that we've been holed up in headquarters for I think four days now, it looks like it's time.

The bell rings as we open the door. To my surprise there actually is a single other patron at a table towards the back. There's a first for everything.

"Roman, and my darling Neo," the proprietor Henry calls out to us.

Neo smiles sweetly at him like usual. The bastard. Henry's a middle aged human man, late forties, early fifties, but he's stacked larger than the Great Wall of Mistral. And all of that muscle goes straight to his burly, Ursa-esque voice.

"Henry, I thought I'd never see you again. How are the kids? Also, can you not call me Roman in present company. Don't want people to talk now," I discreetly motion towards the gentleman at the table...Has he moved since we walked in?

"What? Oh, that's just Ben. Odds are he doesn't even remember his own name right now," Henry belts out with a laugh.

I just shouldn't even ask.

"That isn't a problem?" Screw it_._

"Nah, Jerry'll be by to pick him up sometime," Henry informs me.

At this point Neo takes it upon herself to let me know she's ready to order, with her elbow in my gut. Fine, fine. I'll get you your pasteurized crack.

"So Henry, Neo'll have a triple scoop of her namesake," I'm reasonably sure Neo got her name more from her addiction to ice cream than her interesting hair color, but I'm not sure who can confirm that. "and I'll have a signature double scoop of vanilla," I request.

"Toppings?" Henry asks.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a bit saucy today."

Henry gives a short chortle. "Roman, please. Spare me."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

Ha! Got a laugh out of Neo with that one. I think that's two for ten on the day so far. Not bad. Henry drizzles some chocolate sauce on my ice cream, and I pay him a few Lien. Neo and I grab our order and sit down to enjoy our sweet treats. I'm not as much of an ice cream man, but I'll partake if Neo will pull me here anyway. I once offered her a drag of one of my Vacuo hand rolled 200 Lien treasures to get her to understand my own obsessions more. She was coughing for a good seven minutes. That was fun. But it's also nice to see that look of unbridled joy when she has her defenseless dessert in her clutches. The smirk becomes a smile, her eyes grow wider, and her dimples sink into her rosy cheeks.

Hmm, one of her eyes is white now.

"..."

Wow, what's my counter on that happening today? I look away and quickly start to consume my own bowl of Henry's amazing creation. Sometimes it really concerns me that I don't see more people in here. After all the man's a genius. I suppose the people around here simply have better things to spend their money on. Like the one pot of lentil soup that their family can afford off of Schnee Dust wages. Oh well, their loss.

After some light 'conversation' we finish our bowls and head out the door. No need to say goodbye. He knows we'll be back. Never did see Jerry show up. Neo, now in a much better mood (I assume), and I continue the journey to apartment building 1171 room 302A. We arrive shortly with no further incidence or distraction. I unlock the door and we head inside.

"Ugh, I just want out of these, eh, tasteless clothes. Neo could you be a dear and help me with these pants?" I politely inquire.

That earns me a sickeningly sweet look, then a sharp rap from her always on hand Stiletto Moon. It's common for fighters to name their weapon of choice. Even White Fang Lt. Robredo named his chainsaw, Spinning Bite... He's not really a creative type. However, since all Neo has to work with for naming things is '...' I have taken the liberty of christening her umbrella knife thing for her. You'd think she would be more grateful.

Our apartment is sparsely decorated. We have one couch, a small tv, a single potted azalea plant, and a standard little kitchenette. We did splurge to get me a small desk and chair for the work that inevitably follows me home. Also, we only have one bathroom and one bedroom. Two beds in there though. It was a bit hard to fit them both in there, so Neo's ended up facing away from the door, which she is perfectly comfortable with. If that's not a sure sign of insanity, I don't know what is. The shared bedroom does inhibit the indulgence in certain activities, but honestly with the work load the White Fang is giving me these days, I'm too tired to care much.

After taking her shoes off Neo sits down on the couch to do nothing. She does this sometimes. She doesn't take a nap or even really slouch down. She just sits there only closing her eyes to blink, and for the only time of day besides when she's sleeping or incredibly flustered, the smirk comes off her face to be replaced by a complete lack of emotion. I just assume it's some form of modern meditation. Or perhaps it's just another thing truly psychotic people do for fun. I see her eyes are back to normal again.

"..."

"God dammit Neo! Stop distracting me. There's still work to do. Can't you see that?"

"..."

"Pfft, yeah I guess it's _my _fault I'm thinking about you right now."

Neo breaks her stony stare to give me one of her trademarked smirks. Hmm. Is there a little more meaning behind that one?

"Whatever, I do have things to do, so just carry on with your scarecrow impression."

Neo turns back to the powered down tv, and I sit down at my desk. More papers are scattered everywhere, but these ones hold my interest a little more. This apartment is the only place where I can safely work on my pet projects. The two I care about the most these days are finding out what Cinder is actually planning, and planning some way to get rid of these infuriating school girls that just keep showing up. These documents consist of a combination of intel provided by contacts outside the White Fang, and papers that have been carefully pillaged from headquarters.

I spend a short while mulling over their contents and formulating possible theories. Hmm, Cinder did just enroll in beacon herself, the same place this Ruby girl is from. Perhaps it's not a coincidence they keep showing up. Perhaps Cinder, Ruby, and the Schnee heiress are partners in a much larger scheme to simultaneously eliminate the White Fang, the government of Vale, and me. Then upon the anarchic ruins of Vale, they'll establish the new kingdom of Roschneederland... It's been a long day. Nothing productive is going to get done right now.

I get up and approach Neo. I rest my hand on her shoulder, which awakens her from her trance.

"C'mon, if you come to bed now, I'll give you a goodnight kiss," I tempt her.

She turn around to give me a short glare before heading to the bedroom. I'm not sure when or why it happened, but Neo and I have been going to bed together for a little while now. Not in the same bed, but we always make sure the other is in the room before turning in. Maybe Neo is just more comfortable with someone else in the room. Maybe I am too, despite it being with one of the first people I'd accuse if someone were stabbed to death in their sleep.

We change into our nightwear, a.k.a. take off our pants before getting into our beds. I don't normally look, and neither does she. Even without looking I can still picture her in a less dressed state. I had to look at least once. Neo flips the light switch off and gets under her covers. So do I.

"Good night my darling little abomination."

"..." She stirs a little before falling still.

I don't even know if I meant that as teasing or endearment. Something must be wrong with me today. I settle down on my pillow and close my eyes. I'm bombarded with pictures of a pink, brown, and white figure. Ugh, why is this room so hot and stuffy? Eventually I do fall asleep still picturing that confounded smirk behind my eyelids.

**AN: So, I wrote this because I like Torchwick as a character. Neo and him are the snarky zenith of characterization amongst the villain cast in RWBY. So, I just started writing words for him. This chapter certainly has its weak points, but I'm really new at this. If whoever reads this could review to give me feedback that would help a lot. **

**Also, the cover image was drawn by kumafromtaiwan. A brilliant artist. Thank you to whoever commissioned the picture. **


	2. Chapter 2

**7 Months Earlier**

_ Clink_

I awake in my cell far too early. There isn't even a hint of daylight poking through the barred window. Six months spent in prison and I still haven't been able to break my habit of sleeping lightly. Probably just Simone getting comfortable again. The warden could at least offer a compatibility questionnaire before assigning you a bunkmate. It's a wonder I can even manage to sleep anymore after waking up to the sounds of Simone's happy time once. Degenerates. Every damn beast in this facility. Except for one of us of course.

_ Clink, Thud_

I sit up and look around. Ok, that definitely came from outside the cell. Years of lock picking experience will give you very sharp hearing, and years of thieving will make you trust your intuition. Something is going on right now that does _not_ follow their standard protocol. I soundlessly jump down off of my top bunk. And make my way to the cell door. Solid steel, with a one by one half foot sliding hatch at head height that offers a small view of the door across from me, when opened.

I can't tell the exact time, but there're only two patrols that go by each night. And it's both too early and too late for either of them. I strain my hearing as much as I can, and barely catch the sound of light footsteps making their way closer. Those are not a guard's footsteps. Far too quiet and considerate. Unless one of the guards is sneaking around for a midnight tryst with Spumoni the next block over. Gross, why did I have to think that? The sound of footsteps stops right in front of me to be replaced by the glorious sound of shifting tumblers.

Too late to sneak back into my bunk now. The door slides open, and I flinch like a coward. Then I look down. There stands a tiny adorable creature in a white coat, brown pants, holding a pink parasol, and featuring a variety of hair colors. She looks up at me. Hmm, and a variety of eye colors as well.

"Ok..." I quietly remark.

Unfortunately these heavy door aren't the most discrete contraptions, and the noise had woken Simone up.

"Ugh, Torchwick I swear," Simone grumbles as he moves to sit up. "If you can't get to sleep on your own, I'm gonna tuck you in myself. You won't like it."

Before I can give my witty response, my colorful new acquaintance bounds over to Simone and turning the jump into a pirouette pummels him across the head with her umbrella, all under ten decibels. He's not waking up again tonight.

"Ok..." I arch a brow. Color me impressed.

She finishes spinning around to face me again and lifts one corner of her mouth in a devilish smirk. She strolls up to me and grabs my sleeve leading me out of the cell and then out of the prison.

* * *

><p><strong>Present Day<strong>

I'm awoken from my reminiscing by a not so gentle bonk on the head from a familiar parasol. I glare up from my slumped position at our apartment's desk.

"Neo, why must you bring such violence into our relationship? You know, I do have connections with the police," I threaten.

I feel a soft, ticklish pressure on the crown of my head where I was struck, and I tense up. Did she just? Of all the crazy things I've been through in my life, that would be the one to shut me up. I feel a slight heat creeping up my neck. Then a pair of hands pulls me from my seat and shoves me into the bedroom to change. I look back at Neo's light smile through the open door, then quickly shut it and turn to my closet to get ready. It's only one day until we're shipped off to Mountain Glenn, and any time spent away from HQ is wasted time.

Never mind, it's a waste of time anyway. So many inventory checks to make, so much cargo to arrange, so many peons to organize, and if you even stop to blink, something goes missing.

"One crate holding 20 canisters, each containing roughly 3 pounds of top grade yellow dust crystals, valued at roughly 2,000 lien per pound is gone. For those of you who struggle to tie your shoes in the morning let me inform you, that's 120,000 lien of dust, and I need to know where it went." I yell at the line up of indescribably detestable specimens.

"I don't need to take this from a lowly human," complains a tusked faunus with green hair as he turns to leave. I can't believe these kids.

"Oho, the savior of all faunus kind, Overbite the Conqueror has spoken. Here why don't you come over and elaborate on that insightful argument."

I flip Melodic Cudgel in my grip fire off the hooked end. A direct hit. Considering that the White Fang is essentially an active militia, you would think that their agents would have slightly better reflexes. The gas powered nylon reels my misguided underling back within my reach by his shirt collar. I hold his neck in place on the ground with my cane. I don't want him scampering off before the conversation is finished.

"Funny thing though. Your bosses saw fit to put me in charge. Not you. Isn't that crazy? And when things go missing in _my_ operation, well it just puts a real damper on my day. Now," I look up to address my audience again, "who-" and someone interrupts me with a tap on the shoulder.

"Dammit, I'm trying to speak here!" I turn around to deal with my newest pest. "What is-" Neo? "-what? Neo, can you tell me whatever it is later. You know I love to listen to you, but I'm a bit busy right now," I discretely hiss.

Her eyes meet mine and narrow just slightly, before she steps around me. I turn and watch as she moves in front of me, and looks down the line-up.

"No, please. You don't need my permission, go right ahead," I graciously offer, as I step aside.

What does she think she's doing? Neo saunters up to a tall, but fairly weedy looking faunus, with a reptilian tail snaking out of his pants. I take my foot off of beaver boy's neck and follow. She scrunches her face up a little at him, then with no other warning than a small smirk she knees him right in the happy place.

"AAGH!" Down goes Mr. Slither. I can't help wincing a little. Neo rolls him onto his back with her foot, and unsheathes the blade of Stiletto Moon. Neo motions me over, then snatches my collar and pulls my ear to her mouth.

"..."

I can feel her warm breath on my ear for a brief moment before she pushes me away. I look back down into her eyes (pink and white right now). She jerks her head at her reptilian captive. Oh.

"So my associate has just informed me that, hey!" I kick him hard in the side. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." The younger generation just has no respect. Slither groans a little, but looks up. "As I was saying, my associate has just informed me that the missing dust found it's way into your slimy pockets. Now I'm sure you need to buy some new heat lamps for your terrarium or you're running low on lotion for the upcoming shedding season, but that dust just doesn't belong to you, operative. Also as much as I, and I can't emphasize this enough, _hate_ when something goes missing in my operation, the White Fang likes it even less. Now why don't you just let me know where that crate is."

Mr. Slither's shaking like a dead leaf about to fall. He's either going to confess or piss his pants. Maybe both.

"Listen buddy," I crouch down to get just a bit better eye contact. "You can tell us where the dust is and face the consequences, or Neo here will hurt you a lot. Then you'll still tell us where the dust is and face the consequences, only with a few less body parts for our trouble."

He looks up at Neo and his skin pales to sickly yellow white. God, I'm curious what look she gave him.

"I-I-I..."

"Shh, shh, shh. You don't have to talk. Just take us to it," I reassure him. For some reason he still looks scared.

Slither nods and moves to get up. I do too, and glance back over the rest of the agents still in line.

"Thank you everyone for your cooperation. Yes, I know this relocation is stressing us all out. Why don't you all take a short break. And to you my toothy comrade," The green haired toothy faunus stops massaging his neck for a moment and looks over. "It's very regrettable that you had to get hurt. I hope lessons were learned and we can both move on."

I turn back to my diabolically intelligent companion, and her much taller hostage. She gives me a small but proud smile and turns to the door of the warehouse pushing Slither along in front of her. I adjust my bowler and move to follow.

* * *

><p>How? Was it staged? Does Neo know that animal? Is this another one of Cinder extremely unnecessarily complex schemes to trick me into thinking Neo is the greatest detective on Remnant for the purpose of god knows what?! How did Neo know that snake had the dust?<p>

I look over from my seat on one of the many ammunition crates in the back left corner of the warehouse. Neo sits five feet to my left silently observing the final preparations with me. A crash sounds from across the room. Those idiots just never stop. Neo doesn't even react. She simply continues to sit with her legs pulled against her chest on a small fraction of uncovered crate surface.

"For most people I'd say that pose looks uncomfortable, but with your 'ahem' conservative stature it looks like it suits you just fine," I acknowledge.

"..." Neo doesn't react.

"In fact, it's a crime against humanity that more people don't share your aptitude for spatial efficiency. I can only imagine the money to be saved on building materials and fuel costs," I compliment.

"..." Nothin'. Hmm.

"You know, there are a couple other natural attributes of yours people should also be jealous of," I divulge. "Why, no one can even tease you about your small height considering your large... talents."

Neo's head twitches just a little, and I catch the corner of her eyes with mine. I smile. It's so nice to know when your compliments are well received. Then I feel a taps on my right shoulder. As I'm turning my head I see a faint shimmer, like the gleam of jewelry taken right off some unsuspecting sap's neck, slide across Neo's face. Then a vicious pain hits me from the right, and I slide to the ground.

The Neo I was looking at shatters, and the real Neo leans down in front of me. Smirking Neo holds Stiletto Moon down at her knees, offering me her view on where I might've misspoken.

"Neo c'mon, that was just a joke."

Both of her eyes turn pink and she gives me the sweetest strawberry smile I've seen before connecting her boot with my shin. Then I watch as she turns and strolls away with a certain melodic sway in her steps. Back and forth, back and forth. Damn, what she's doing with those hips has to be illegal. They should lock her up for that. And then someone'll have to go and bust her out. And then we'll have to spend days on the run hiding together in cold cramped spaces. No Cinder or White Fang to run to this time. Just two hardened criminals out on the streets, the entire force giving chase, and nothing but their raw cunning to protect them.

"Ahem. Would you like a hand sir?" I look up into the face of a bespectacled faunus.

"Perry, didn't I tell you to supervise the loading of trucks A-F?"

"Sir, we've been done with that for ten minutes now," Perry informs me.

"And here I expected that to take at least two hours. I'm tellin' you Perry. If more faunus were like you, people might actually not look at them as the worthless garbage of society," I praise.

"Uh, thanks sir," he offers a hand and frowns.

"Not at all," I accept his help up. "I'd wager you'll make a fine trash collector or delivery man some day." I smile at him.

"Uh huh," Perry mumbles and walks away.

Oh, it is the little things in life.

"And Perry," I call after him. "Trucks G-K are scheduled to arrive in a few moments. Why don't you handle those as well?"

"Uh, of course sir," Perry calls back his head sinking a little.

"Very good, carry on."

Oh, it's the little things in life. I reach down to light a cigar. Ow, why does my shin hurt so much?

* * *

><p>The rest of the day is spent loading the last of the trucks to be sent out tomorrow. I look over the inventory lists for the last time tonight. All dust accounted for. I doubted another incident would occur so soon after the last one. I still need to ask Neo. No, if I thought she'd give me a real answer I would. Food and weapons loaded up. And lastly, Cinder's special scrap heap packed and secure. The ship comes into port at 6 a.m. tomorrow. If Neo and I leave now we can still get in one last night of sleep in our apartment.<p>

I put the papers down and leave my office to go find my companion. Hmm, come to think of it. What does Neo actually do when she's not assisting me? Cinder has so politely requested that we not start any illegal enterprises of our own while in her employ. Neo and I graciously agreed to her terms. So, it's doubtful she's doing anything outside of the base, at least not without including me.

I give a quick glance over the main storage room. A few guards are posted, but most agents are in their quarters by now. Those who still have civilian lives have probably gone home. Not a dash of pink in sight. Maybe's she already left. Tch, and here I thought she was my assigned body guard. You can't trust even those closest to you. I feel a strong poke in the center of my back.

"Neo," I turn to see an enigmatic smirk. "How is it that we didn't meet sooner? With your knack for stealth I'm sure I could have even Lord Schnee's fortune at my finger tips. I'd even share a few Lien with you."

Neo rolls her eyes and lightly flips the hair over the right side of my face.

"Do not start on my eyesight. You know I already get enough of that from queen toasty bitche- I mean queen toasty britches," I groan.

Neo's eyes squint and her shoulders shake a bit. I thought it was supposed to be the most wonderful sound in the world, a pretty girl's laugh. Like wind chimes or icicles tinkling in the winter wind, or some other shit. So how does she make it look so good without a single sound. Take notes Cinder, your dulcet tones got nothing on Neo. In fact everyone take notes, this girl knows things.

"..." Neo shoves me and I stumble towards the door. Right.

"C'mon Neo. We don't want to waste any more time hanging around this pig pen than we have to. Let's go."

We stop briefly at Henry's on the way home to grab large carton. Probably the last bit of sugary crack Neo will get her hands on for a while. Might as well indulge. I doubt I'll be seeing any new cigars shops in Mountain Glenn either.

"Neo, have I mentioned how much I hate the countryside?"

"..."

"Yeah, I know. All part of the Cinder master plan. After all who would think to put two high class thieves, masters of the urban environment, in charge of an operation out in the sticks?"

"..." Neo gives me a practiced sarcastic smirk.

"Exactly, they'll never see it coming," I proclaim.

We return to our apartment and Neo immediately sits down with her precious treat. I expect no less from a fellow addict. I put our hats, jackets, and weapons away in the closet before joining her. She finishes off about half the carton in the first ten minutes.

"Now Neo, by now I have of course realized that you do not get brain freezes. I'll admit I'm impressed, both by your stoic brain and by the fact that such a talent even exists. I don't think anyone else could find use for that, however there is something that puzzles me."

Neo peeks up for a scant second, before turning back to her carton.

"I have seen you ingest large quantities of cream and sugar, and never you never gain a single pound. Crazy right? Where does all of that food go?" I politely inquire. "Now I have my theories about where an your body the cream and fat might've gone, but the sugar still perplexes me."

Neo stops with her next spoonful almost to her mouth, then flicks it right onto my forehead. I'm shocked for a split second. She's a true psychopath.

"Flinging food?" I gasp. "You're lucky my bowler is already put away. I almost had to kill you."

Neo smirks at that.

"Yes of course, not if you kill me first. Neo, you're so cliché sometimes. Now hand me a napkin for this."

She grabs a napkin, but stops right as she's about to hand it over. Hmm? She walks around the table to wipe off the ice cream herself.

"Ok..."

I can feel a little heat on my face as she wipes off the cold dessert. When there's only a drop left she takes the napkin away and leans down slightly. I feel a soft wet sensation move up the length of the remaining drop. The heat on my face explodes into one of Cinder's infernos. Her tongue was only there for the second, but all of my muscles become tight as a Schnee's finances. I slowly stand and look down at the girl. Both of her eyes are a shining white, and her cheeks have a bright pink flair same as mine I'm sure.

I place my right hand under her chin and lean down. I can smell the divine scent of sugary death on her breath and feel the hot air on my lips. Then there's contact. Soft, warm, and sticky in the best way I can imagine. I wrap my other arm around her waist and press harder into her lips. I can feel her breath catch, and then her arms tighten our embrace further. I can't even think for a moment as her body presses fully into mine. The only sensation in the world is heat, and the sound of our breath coming out faster and heavier.

Then there's a rush of pleasure. All of the hard muscle of a skilled fighter and softness of an ice cream junkie is rubbing into my chest and abdomen and between my thighs. Some of the stickiness on my lips is replaced by wetness and I open my mouth as Neo deepens the kiss. There's no reason or method to how we move our tongues, but it doesn't matter as long as I can feel more of her mouth. After as long as we can hold out, there just isn't enough air to continue, and we separate.

We both stand there still together gasping for oxygen and staring into each others' eyes. Back to pink and brown.

"You know Neo. I really have to crank my neck to kiss you all the way down there. We should get a stool for next time."

She smiles wider into the most beautiful look I've ever seen on a woman's face with the sexiest blush of pink that can exist. Then she stomps like a pile-driver onto my foot.

"Ahh!"

I lean down to grab at my foot, but Neo meets me there with her lips. Damn, this girl is fantastic. The pain in my foot melts into the sensation of the kiss. It's brief, but just as sweet. We part again and Neo now steps out of the embrace. Her smile sinks into a smirk, and she saunters off towards the bedroom with a criminal sway in her hips.

God damn. I move to follow, but stop and look back for a second. Hmm. I can feel a smirk tugging at the corners of my own lips. I grab the carton of ice cream then accompany my devil to her dungeon.

**AN: Well, that chapter was all over the place. Somebody stop me, I love Torchwick too much. ****I was pretty happy with that ending though, I felt a bit like an asshole while writing it, so it fits with the Torchwick theme. ****And Neo you and Roman are simply perfect for each other.**

**I'm not sure whether to end this here or keep going with just more fluff. ****Please let me know what you thought about this chapter and what you'd like to see. I might do another Torchwick based story instead, writing in first person is getting kinda hard.**

**And thanks for reading!**


End file.
